


Curls and Calculus

by Misshyen, Sparklingstarsandmoonbeams



Series: JJ and Haley: Summer Love [6]
Category: Original Fiction - Fandom, Original Work
Genre: Best Friends, Dyspraxia, F/M, Flirting, Friendship, Learning Disabilities, New Couple, Self Confidence, Self Confidence Issues, Young Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-13
Updated: 2019-02-13
Packaged: 2019-10-27 17:16:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17770970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Misshyen/pseuds/Misshyen, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sparklingstarsandmoonbeams/pseuds/Sparklingstarsandmoonbeams
Summary: Back from their lake house trip, Haley begins to experience some self-doubt about her relationship with JJ.





	Curls and Calculus

**Author's Note:**

> Written by Sparklingstarsandmoonbeams.

Haley was staring at her reflection in the mirror, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear in an attempt to deal with her wild hair.  _Probably time for another keratin treatment._   She thought to herself.  They only lasted a few months but at least it was better than the wild ball of frizz currently erupting from her scalp.  Sighing she smoothed the front of the dress she’d been trying on down for a third time, hating the way it bunched around her hips and stomach making her look three times bigger than she actually was.  She kicked her foot at the jumble of discarded clothes on the floor.  Everything looked terrible. Unzipping the dress, she wiggled out, putting her shorts and tank top back on before beginning to return all of the “no ways” to their hangers.

“Hale?” Meg called as she was putting the last top back.

 “Yeah?”

“How’s it going over there?”

“It’s not.  I hate all of it.  I’m going to go put it out on the return rack and then look at the shoes, okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll be out in a minute.”

Meg caught a glimpse of her best friend’s curly head as she headed across the highly polished white tile of the store.  She’d found a new top and a dress to wear for her and Ben’s upcoming anniversary and she had her eye on jacket but was trying to decide if she really needed it or if she could wait until the price went down a little.  Her eyes landed on a pair of heels as she drew closer to Haley, one hand touching the point of the toe, the other flipping over the price tag

“Did you see these?”  Meg asked and Haley looked up from her spot on the other side of the shoe section.

“No.  They’re pretty though.”

“Maybe you should buy them in case JJ takes you somewhere special for your birthday,” Meg teased.

“Assuming we’re still together by then,” Haley said, eyes never meeting Meg’s.

“What does that mean?   I thought you guys were okay. You seemed fine at the end of the weekend at the lake.  Did something happen?”

“No.  We’re fine.  Things are good.  I just…”

“You just what?”  Meg asked, voice filled with concern.

“I guess I’m just worried he won’t…I don’t know.  I don’t know, Meg.  What if he decides he doesn’t want to wait around for me to be ready?  I mean, it’s not like he couldn’t have any girl he wanted,” she said, shrugging her shoulders in defeat.

“Haley…come on.  You KNOW that isn’t true.  JJ’s not like that.”

Haley sighed, dropping into a nearby chair and burying her face in her hands, “I feel like such a loser. I like him, he likes me, and for some reason I can’t just go ahead and have sex with him!”

A woman and her daughter passed by and Haley cringed at the mother’s dirty look, lowering her voice to a whisper, “Why can’t I just sleep with him like any other normal girl?”

“Because you’re not just _any_ girl, Hale.  You’re not like that and he’s not like that.  Listen, if JJ says he doesn’t mind waiting, he’s being honest.  He’s not pulling some reverse psychology BS by saying he’s willing to wait just to get you to think he’s a nice guy.  In the two years I’ve known him I’ve never seen him look at another girl like he looks at you.”

Haley gave her a watery half smile, “I want to believe that.  And part of me does but I just…” she broke off on a cry, her shoulders beginning to shake.

 Meg sat in the seat beside her, rubbing small circles on her back, “Hale, don’t cry.  There’s nothing to cry about.  You said everything was okay with you guys so why are you so upset?”

“I like him, Meg. I really, really like him and I’m scared that I’m feeling too much too fast and that I’m just going to get hurt in the end because what if he doesn’t feel the same way?”

“Haley, you KNOW he likes you.”

“He doesn’t even know who my Dad is, Meg.  What if he finds out and isn’t interested anymore?”

“Are you crazy?  Why would he not like you?  Your Dad’s your dad and yeah, he’s a celebrity or whatever.  And I get that it’s annoying when photographers follow you around for a picture but you’re making up a problem that might not even BE a problem.  Is it an issue for me?”

“No, of course not.  I mean, at least I don’t think it is, is it?”

Meg shook her head, rolling her eyes, “Um, no, of course not.  I wouldn’t still be living with you if it was.  Hale, the people who know you, really know you aren’t going to be bothered by who your Dad is because it doesn’t define you.”     

“That’s you though.  Guys are different.  They see my Dad or find out who he is and think I expect them to be like that.  They think I want Superman and I really just want someone to love me for me.”

Meg dug through her bag in search of a tissue for her friend whose cheeks were tear stained and whose nose was beginning to run.  “Here,” she said, finding a small packet of tissues and handing them to Haley, “You can’t think like that though.  Not every guy is going to be intimidated by your Dad.  The right guy, Haley, the guy for you, is going to love you no matter what.  He’s going to love you because you’re funny and smart and because you have the biggest heart of anyone I know.  That and you make the best damn cookies I’ve ever eaten anywhere.”

Haley laughed, dabbing her eyes and wiping her face, “How do you always know just what to say to make me feel better?”

“Eh, it’s part of the best friend training I took,” Meg said shrugging.

“Well thank you for being an awesome friend.”

“We’ll call it even. You helped me when Ben and I split up for a few weeks last year.  Figured it was time for me to pay up.  Now, will you PLEASE buy these shoes so I can borrow them?”

Haley laughingly picked up the heels Meg was holding in her lap, “Come on, let’s find my size.”

They’d talked more about Haley’s concerns throughout the rest of their shopping outing, discussing when Haley might tell JJ about her family and how she and JJ had left things before leaving the lake house.  Eventually they began chatting about Ben and Meg’s upcoming anniversary or what Meg would only describe as “Ben’s feeble attempts at romance.”

“I love him.  I really, really do.  But he is the WORST at birthdays and anniversaries,” she moaned, leaving Haley laughing at her imitation of Ben telling Meg they were going to dinner at TGI Friday’s and then bowling.

“Well, you never know, he could totally step up his game this time,” Haley said.

“From your lips to God’s ears,” Meg said, jokingly placing her hands together as if praying.

They finished their shopping, stopping at a little deli for lunch before making the trek back to their apartment.  Aside from some boxes of books and a few suitcases of clothes at Haley’s parents and Meg’s desk and a few boxes of her things, they were largely moved in.  JJ and Ben were on board to help with the rest of the move next week just in time for classes to begin a few days later.

* * *

 

 

Meg dropped Haley off en route to dinner with her sisters and mother, promising to be back by ten so they could watch the DVR’d episode of the most recent true crime show they both loved.

Haley’s phone began to buzz persistently just as she exited the elevator to their floor and she smiled at JJ’s face as it lit up her screen.

“Hey handsome,” she said, holding the phone between her ear and shoulder as she fumbled around for her keys.

“Peanut!  I didn’t think I’d get you.  I thought you and Meg were shopping?”

“We were shopping.  We’re done now.  She just dropped me off at the apartment.  She has dinner plans with her family.”

“Ah, pesky families!”

Haley laughed, unloading her bags onto her bed and sighing as she kicked off her shoes.  

 “So if Meg’s otherwise occupied does that mean I can steal you away for dinner tonight?”

“Hmm…I’ll need to check my calendar.  Let me see.  Oh yes, Wednesday.  It says right here, Go to dinner with super smart, super sweet boyfriend.  Do you know anyone who fits that description?”

“I think I know JUST the guy.”

“Great. I’m game.  I just promised Meg I’d watch our show when she got home later.”

“Sounds good.  I have an early staff meeting at the lab so I can’t keep you out all night anyway.  Pick you up at 5:30?”

Haley glanced at her bedside clock.  Just after 2:30, giving her time to run an errand, make a few phone calls, and get ready for their date.  “Perfect.  See you then.”

“Bye, Peanut.”

“Bye, Beast,” she said, practically hearing his smile through the phone.

* * *

 

 

The buzzer to their intercom rang at 5:27 and Haley had to chuckle.  He was always so prompt.

“Hale?”

 “I’m letting you in, okay?” she said, hitting the button to release the lock.

Sliding her sandals on she gave herself a quick once over in the small mirror in the hallway, shrugging her shoulders and applying a light lip gloss.  Doing her hair had taken the better part of an hour and she silently cursed girls like Meg who washed their hair and spent twenty minutes blow drying it straight.

When the knock sounded on her door she pulled it back expecting JJ and instead a bouquet of yellow and white roses greeted her.

 “Flower delivery for Ms. Haley Cavill,” JJ’s voice greeted.

“Oh, I’ll take those,” Haley said, taking the flowers in hand before beginning to shut the door.

“Wait! Wait!”

Haley opened the door once more, “It’s you!” she said in mock surprise.

“It’s…wow…Haley.  Wow,” he said, reaching his hand up tentatively to touch her hair, “It’s so straight.”

“You don’t like it?”

“No.  No, that’s not it at all.  You look fantastic.  I was just surprised to see you with your hair straight.  It’s always so curly.”

Blushing she ran a hand through her sleek and shiny locks, “I wanted to try something different.”

“Well it’s different all right,” he said, thumb running over her cheek before he captured her face and kissed her softly, “You look beautiful.”

“Thank you for my flowers. And for the compliment.”

“Of course. You ready to go?”

“Yes, let me just stick these in some water.”

Later, when the flowers were situated and they’d walked to a nearby Hibachi restaurant Haley had wanted to try they chatted about the last few days and the things they’d done since coming back from the lake.

“You’re sure you’re okay with double dating with Graham and Beth?” she asked as they watched their meal being prepared.

“Yes, of course I am. So long as Graham understands that MIT will beat Stanford every day of the week and twice on Sunday.”

Haley rolled her eyes. Graham had made a similar comment the other night when she asked him the very same question.

“Are you excited for school to be starting up?” JJ said, nodding at the waitress who dropped off their drinks.

“Eh, yes and no. I’m glad I’ll get to see you and Meg regularly and to have my own place. I’m taking some good classes this semester and I’m excited about some of my professors. So yes, more or less.”

“That sounds like an enthusiastic endorsement!” JJ chuckled.

Sighing, Haley twirled her straw in her drink, “It’s not that I hate school. It’s just…it’s work for me. There are classes that I love like Child Development and my seminar classes on reading instruction and curriculum and there are others that I wish I didn’t have to take at all.”

“But that’s everyone, Peanut.”

She gave him a pointed glance, “Somehow I doubt there was ever a class you didn’t like.”

JJ gave a sheepish grin, “Guilty as charged.”

Haley groaned, “And you’re so damn cheerful about it too!”

“Tell me what classes you don’t like then. I promise to be as un-cheerful as possible.”

“No, I’m not telling.”

“What? Why?”

“Because you’ll think it’s dumb. And it is. Really, really dumb.”

JJ pivoted on his chair so he was facing her, one hand on the back of the high backed stool, the other on her thigh, “Hale, I’m sure it’s not dumb. I want you to talk to me when things bother you.”

“It’s math, all right? I hate math. Always have, always will. The numbers get all jumbled up in my head and I can’t make heads or tails of them.”

“Well, I can help you with it if you want,” he said.

“That’s just it, Jay. You’re this super smart Albert Einstein and I’m just a girl with crazy hair who can’t solve for x to save her life!”

JJ’s expression was caught between confusion and shock and as he processed what she’d said, Haley stood up from the counter where they’d been sitting.

“I’m sorry for ruining the night but I’m not really feeling well,” she said, placing some money beneath her plate.

JJ called her name and fumbling for his wallet added several bills of his own. They’d surely overpaid for a meal they hadn’t gotten to eat but he was too worried about her to care.

“Haley! Hale, slow down!” he called out to her, spotting her speed walking down the sidewalk.

It took a minute before he was able to catch up with her and not wanting to grab her, he came in front of her and began to jog backwards.

“Will you just let me talk to you?” he asked.

“There’s nothing to talk about, JJ. You’re a MENSA scholar and I’m a B plus average.”

“Haley,” he said, taking her arms in his hands, “You are not JUST anything. You’re awesome and I don’t care if you get straight A’s or not. I like you because you’re funny and kind and sassy and because you don’t always say the perfect thing because it means you’re real and not just putting on an act for me.”

She stopped walking then, sighing deeply before coming to sit on a nearby bench.

“Why are you dating me?” she asked suddenly, refusing to look at him, toying with her bracelet instead.

“Haley, is this about the stuff that happened on our trip? Because I thought we were good.”

Shrugging she wiped at her eyes, spinning the bracelet around in small circles, “Yes. No. I don’t know. And we were good…are good, I guess. I’m just…I don’t understand why you want me when you could have a model with a perfect body and smooth, shiny hair and a doctorate in psychology from Harvard or Yale.”

“Who exactly do you think I am that ANY model would date me?” he asked, his grin giving way to a frown when she looked at him sharply. “Haley, for some reason you’ve built me up in your mind as this perfect guy who’s awesome at everything and never struggles with anything and who has girls just throwing themselves in his direction and all of that, all that stuff you’ve convinced yourself is true couldn’t be farther from the truth. Yeah, I’m smart. I guess I’m just lucky that things like math and coding and academic stuff come easily to me. But people stuff, the things that come so naturally to you, are really hard for me. I’m quiet and reserved and people mistake that for arrogance or conceit. I don’t have a huge circle of friends, just a few really close buddies, most of whom I’ve known since I was a kid. And yeah, pretty girls try and talk to me but they’re never interested in getting to know me or learning about me or figuring out who I am. They just see a decent looking guy who plays lacrosse and they assume I’m some dumb jock who’s only interested in one thing. And I thought I’d done a good job of telling you…of showing you that wasn’t who I am at all but I guess I screwed it up.”

“JJ, no, that’s not it at all. It’s not anything YOU’VE done or haven’t done. It’s me. I guess I just feel really self-conscious around you especially when it comes to the whole school thing and I don’t want you to wake up one day and realize that I’m not a brain surgeon–”

 “I don’t expect you to be, Hale. I just–”

“Let me finish, okay?”

JJ nodded and turned towards her.

“All my life I’ve felt like I wasn’t good enough. I have three older brothers who are all ridiculously smart and talented and I didn’t talk until I was nearly three. Because my speech was so delayed I had a hard time with reading and writing combined with some dyspraxia and dyslexia and I had to work three times as hard as my brothers and friends to keep up in school, let alone stay ahead. I did well enough thanks to tutors and loads of intensive therapy as a kid but I still feel like that seven-year-old in Mrs. Collier’s class who couldn’t read the page and the other kids laughed at. It’s why I want to be a reading teacher. So another seven-year-old doesn’t have to feel the way I did.”

He was holding her hand now, his thumb rubbing small, comforting circles over the back of her hand and when she looked at him, her eyes were red.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner…I guess I just wanted you to think I was smart,” she said, shrugging.

“Peanut, I DO think you’re smart. I also think you’re awesome for studying something that clearly means so much to you and for wanting to help other kids who also might have a hard time with language and reading.”

 She smiled a little at this, “Really?”

“Really. I always wondered why you’d chosen something so specific and not just elementary education so it’s really cool for me to know that it’s something you’re so passionate about.”

“Just like you and the army.”

“Yeah, just like that,” he grinned, “I’d really love to give you a hug right now if that’s okay?”

“Yes, please.”

The hug was gentle, his broad arms engulfing her and she buried her face in his neck. “I’m sorry about dinner,” she said against his skin and he chuckled, “It’s okay.”

“Can we go back to my place for pizza?”

“Yes,” he said, pressing a kiss to the top of her head, his fingers running through her silky locks.

“Jay? Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course.”

“Do you…well…is my hair too curly?”

“What? No, I love…Wait. Is that why you straightened your hair? Because you thought I didn’t like your curls?”

“Kinda.  Sorta.  Maybe a little.”

“Haley, you look very pretty with your hair like this but I love your natural hair. I love that one little piece that always manages to escape your ponytail and the way it whips around your face when we’re at the beach and I really, really love the way it feels when we’re lying in bed and it’s tickling my nose first thing in the morning or last thing at night. Don’t straighten it because you think it’s what I want. You’re already perfect either way.”

“Sweet talker,” she laughed and he tweaked her nose softly.

“Come on, let’s get some pizza and head back to your place,” he said, drawing her to her feet.

* * *

 

 

They’d eaten on the floor, seated at the coffee table, sharing pizza and stories; JJ, a beaming smile on his face told Haley about his youth lacrosse team’s most recent game and the ice cream he and the other coach had taken them for after. Haley laughingly filled him in on her last swim class of the season, excitedly relaying how one of her youngest and most reluctant swimmers had finally jumped off into the deep end.

Cleaning up from their meal, Haley had turned the television on and they wound up cuddled up on the couch watching a special on Gertrude Ederle, the first woman to swim across the English Channel. JJ made the first move, kissing a spot of chocolate sauce from Haley’s mouth as their empty bowls of ice cream sat on the table. One kiss led to another and then a third and soon they were kissing their way through every commercial break, JJ’s hands soft in her hair, Haley’s pressed to the front of his shirt. When the program ended, there had been a few final kisses at the door, JJ promising to text when he got in so he didn’t interrupt her plans with Meg.

Alone once more Haley went to wash her face and get ready for bed while she waited for Meg. When she turned on the bathroom light, something bright caught her attention and looking closer she realized there was a post-it note stuck to the mirror behind the sink. Looking more closely, she realized it was written in JJ’s tight, neat penmanship and felt a smile break out on her face as she read

 _Peanut - You are the very best part of my day._ It was signed with a smiley face. She didn’t know when he’d written it or left it on the mirror but it meant everything and she was thrilled he was a part of her life.


End file.
